Happy Mother's Day

If you haven't heard by now this Mother's Day will be my first mother's day to celebrate! Except, I don't know this child that I carry yet and it feels more like an imaginary friend. It is there, but I cannot see it or feel it yet. All I can do is pray for God to help this child grow healthy and full of love in his/her heart for the Lord and for everyone she/he meets.

As I have been preparing in my mind and heart to be a mom, I have been heavily reflecting on my relationship with my mother. I can't remember a time in my life where I have appreciated my Mom more than I do now. I hope that will only continue to grow stronger when this child arrives. When I think about all the responsibility that I will have to carry I can't help but ask my myself... How did my mom do it 24/7 for 25 years (27) for my brother. Being a mother is a forever role! Now that I am grown up, married, moved out in a different state, I still rely on my mom for advice, love, and friendship.

Some parents are really against using the word "friend" in their relationship with their kids. My mom never hesitated to call me one of her best friends even at a very young age. I will have to admit, I wasn't always sure how I felt about that title. I shared more with my mom about my life than most of my really good friends, but my friends couldn't ground me or take away the car if I did something to disappoint them. Sure, we were very close friends. However, I still feared my mom in a way that made me want to respect her and follow the rules. She especially never let me get away with talking back to her or being disrespectful. She did however, tell me that I could tell her absolutely anything and she would always love me and help me no matter what. My mom demonstrated to me a beautiful picture of God's grace.

I love my mom for a million reasons. She has been through many rough situations. She knows what it's like to be a single mom and to get by with very little. She has always put her kids first and she has done everything she could possibly do to give us a blessed life. Of course I have to give big credit to the love of her life, Dennis Geelhoed, who came into our family when I was a little girl and treated me as his own daughter. They are a team and they have shown me how important it is to be a team with in my own marriage. And for that I am forever grateful. My mom would not be the woman she is without him in her life. She was still an incredible mom, but God gave her a partner to help better fulfill His plan.

I could go on and on telling you reasons why I appreciate my mom. But the reason I have come to appreciate her more lately is because she has let my brother and I grow up. Let me explain.

I told an ex-boyfriend once that I wasn't sure if we should be dating any more. His response was... "If I truly love you, than I have to love you enough to let you go." Cheesy but sweet right? I hope he didn't think that line would get me back into his arms because I told him thank you and continued to break up. (How sensitive of me). Anyway, in the past few years I have had to watch my mom live this truth out. My brother and I both moved out of state after we graduated college. My bro is only 3 hours away in Chicago. I got married and moved 9hrs away to Tennessee. I have watched my mom try ever so hard to learn what it means to love and let go. She gave me space to make my own decisions and to grow up. She has been a constant encouragement reminding me that I am doing great things for God here in Nashville. She is genuinely interested in our new life here and appreciative of others who we can call our Tennessee family. Both of my parents come to visit often expressing great interest in our new lives. She reminds me often that she is proud of my husband and I while encouraging us to continue to seek out God's will. Even though I know my mom would love for us to move back closer, I know that she is content because we are in God's plan. That doesn't mean it has been easy for her. It means that she has truly let go and she is letting God be in control. This is the meaning of contentment. My mom has embraced God's plan for her kids lives. She doesn't pressure us to move back or sound regretful that we moved. She genuinely encourages us each step of the way.

This is why I have come to appreciate my mother more than ever lately. As I think about having our own child, I can't imagine what it will be like to let go and let God be in control from the time they take their first step to the time they make big life decisions like getting married, moving, etc! I think that will be one of the most difficult tasks of being a mom. Thanks mom for showing me how to love and let go. I feel closer to you than ever before even though we live so far apart.

Happy Mother's Day! I love you!