In Memory of Kurt Ehlert
"One for the money, two for the show, three to get ready, and four to gooooooo!" My dad used to yell as he blasted me off his shoulders and into the water. He loved Lake George, a special place for the Ehlerts where our family cabin is. I never imagined at twenty five years old I would be dumping my dad's ashes into this same lake where so many good memories have taken place.
Some of my earliest memories of my dad are being excited for him to come home from the army. I remember waiting outside on the steps of my grandparent's house and hugging him in his army uniform. One of my few memories before the divorce was my dad again in uniform sitting on the kitchen across from my mom and the both of them were arguing. My brother and I crawled back and forth on the floor switching between their laps.
Since then I saw my dad every other weekend and every other Wednesday evening most of my childhood. In all honesty, we didn't have a close relationship. I had to over come a lot of anger issues I had with him especially during my early teen years. I will never forget a life changing mission trip to Toronto with my youth group where I learned the true power of God's grace and forgiveness. During that mission trip I forgave my father and this has been one of the most moving testimonies of my life. Since forgiving him our relationship was still a bit estranged, but the bitterness was gone and that was enough to bring some major healing. I once over heard him talking to a friend of his... "She used to hardly talk to me but since she has been going to church something has changed in her." I hope he knew it wasn't just something but someone. Jesus completely changed my life.
As I reflect back on my time with him, I am realizing how he tried to show that he loved my brother and I. He wasn't very expressive with his emotions but he did love us. I know this because he did so many things with us. He was always looking for fun activities to do around Grand Rapids on the weekend he had us. He took us to festivals downtown and parks on a nice day. He would take us to hobby shops, pet stores, the mall, batting cages, the zoo, and to play mini-golf. Often we would go to the movies but I would be embarrassed if it was a comedy because he had such a girly high pitched laughed he made heads turn in the theater. I am not embarrassed anymore... it makes me smile. I will never forget the fun trips we went on with the Stolsmarks to Cedar Point and to the Detroit Tiger's game. We also went to Chicago for a fun weekend. I really do believe he loved spending time with us.
My dad also taught me to have creative fun. He was always coming up with a project like the one time we tried and failed to build our own go-kart. We built forts and even tried to make a zip line at our cottage. He encouraged me to try new things especially food since I was a picky eater as a kid. We flew kites at Shawnee Park and when those kites broke we went back to my Grandparent's house to see if we could make our own kites. My dad took us to army surplus stores and we would buy random stuff to try out like a BB gun, sling shot, or water cannon. We would play with these things for hours and my dad would join in on the fun. We really did have fun together and he gave me a lot of experiences. This is what I will hold onto as I reflect on who he was during this time of mourning.
The biggest tragedy is not that he was a bad guy but that he was a good guy who let his addiction win. It's not really a big secret that my dad was an alcoholic. I hate addiction. It is pure evil in one of the sickest forms. My dad became a slave to his addictions and in the end this took his life at only fifty-one years of age. My heart breaks at this tragedy.
But thankfully there is a God who redeems. There is a God full of grace and love beyond all our understanding. The apostle Paul wrote this prayer for the Ephesians in Ephesians 3 but I am praying it for my Dad...
For this reason I kneel before the Father, from whom every family in heaven and on earth derives its name. I pray that out of his glorious riches he may strengthen you with power through his Spirit in your inner being, so that Christ may dwell in your heart through faith. And I pray that you, being rooted and established in love, may have power, together with all the Lord’s holy people, to grasp how wide and long and high and deep is the love of Christ, and to know this love that surpasses knowledge—that you may be filled to the measure of all the fullness of God. Now to him who is able to do immeasurably more than all we ask or imagine, according to his power that is at work within us, to him be glory in the church and in Christ Jesus throughout all generations, for ever and ever! Amen.
I serve a God who is able to do immeasurably more than all I can ask or imagine. I ask God to give him a new body and to refresh his spirit in heaven so that when I get to heaven my dad and I can sit down over a cup of chai tea and get to know each other better.
Some of my earliest memories of my dad are being excited for him to come home from the army. I remember waiting outside on the steps of my grandparent's house and hugging him in his army uniform. One of my few memories before the divorce was my dad again in uniform sitting on the kitchen across from my mom and the both of them were arguing. My brother and I crawled back and forth on the floor switching between their laps.
Since then I saw my dad every other weekend and every other Wednesday evening most of my childhood. In all honesty, we didn't have a close relationship. I had to over come a lot of anger issues I had with him especially during my early teen years. I will never forget a life changing mission trip to Toronto with my youth group where I learned the true power of God's grace and forgiveness. During that mission trip I forgave my father and this has been one of the most moving testimonies of my life. Since forgiving him our relationship was still a bit estranged, but the bitterness was gone and that was enough to bring some major healing. I once over heard him talking to a friend of his... "She used to hardly talk to me but since she has been going to church something has changed in her." I hope he knew it wasn't just something but someone. Jesus completely changed my life.
As I reflect back on my time with him, I am realizing how he tried to show that he loved my brother and I. He wasn't very expressive with his emotions but he did love us. I know this because he did so many things with us. He was always looking for fun activities to do around Grand Rapids on the weekend he had us. He took us to festivals downtown and parks on a nice day. He would take us to hobby shops, pet stores, the mall, batting cages, the zoo, and to play mini-golf. Often we would go to the movies but I would be embarrassed if it was a comedy because he had such a girly high pitched laughed he made heads turn in the theater. I am not embarrassed anymore... it makes me smile. I will never forget the fun trips we went on with the Stolsmarks to Cedar Point and to the Detroit Tiger's game. We also went to Chicago for a fun weekend. I really do believe he loved spending time with us.
My dad also taught me to have creative fun. He was always coming up with a project like the one time we tried and failed to build our own go-kart. We built forts and even tried to make a zip line at our cottage. He encouraged me to try new things especially food since I was a picky eater as a kid. We flew kites at Shawnee Park and when those kites broke we went back to my Grandparent's house to see if we could make our own kites. My dad took us to army surplus stores and we would buy random stuff to try out like a BB gun, sling shot, or water cannon. We would play with these things for hours and my dad would join in on the fun. We really did have fun together and he gave me a lot of experiences. This is what I will hold onto as I reflect on who he was during this time of mourning.
The biggest tragedy is not that he was a bad guy but that he was a good guy who let his addiction win. It's not really a big secret that my dad was an alcoholic. I hate addiction. It is pure evil in one of the sickest forms. My dad became a slave to his addictions and in the end this took his life at only fifty-one years of age. My heart breaks at this tragedy.
But thankfully there is a God who redeems. There is a God full of grace and love beyond all our understanding. The apostle Paul wrote this prayer for the Ephesians in Ephesians 3 but I am praying it for my Dad...For this reason I kneel before the Father, from whom every family in heaven and on earth derives its name. I pray that out of his glorious riches he may strengthen you with power through his Spirit in your inner being, so that Christ may dwell in your heart through faith. And I pray that you, being rooted and established in love, may have power, together with all the Lord’s holy people, to grasp how wide and long and high and deep is the love of Christ, and to know this love that surpasses knowledge—that you may be filled to the measure of all the fullness of God. Now to him who is able to do immeasurably more than all we ask or imagine, according to his power that is at work within us, to him be glory in the church and in Christ Jesus throughout all generations, for ever and ever! Amen.
I serve a God who is able to do immeasurably more than all I can ask or imagine. I ask God to give him a new body and to refresh his spirit in heaven so that when I get to heaven my dad and I can sit down over a cup of chai tea and get to know each other better.
This is beautiful, Sam! Your Dad wasn't good about expressing or showing his emotions but he and I had LOTS OF LONG TALKS!!! You and Jason were his life......I wish he could of told you instead of me how very proud he was of you and how much he loved you. He held so much inside. He couldn't even talk to me about the addiction but it worried me the last couple years more and more. I am so glad, even though he left us too young, that he was able to see both you & Jason married and become a Grandpa! He was excited about your son & would of been a good Grandpa.......we were talking about how old Desmond would have to be before Night Tubing was allowed:) I have soooooo many special memoreies with your Dad, you, Jason, Alicia & Jordan! I will cherish these memories!!!
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