Through the Lens of a Parent


Pedaling as fast as I could uphill I realized, my son was no where in sight! Where was he? Someone else had him and I had no idea who. I had to find him. Thunder clasped and lighting struck right in front of me. Pedaling faster and harder wondering..."Where is my son?!!!!"

Next thing I knew my bike was gone and I found myself in a room with other people surrounded by terrorists with guns. Out of all the people the main terrorist leader told Desmond and I that we would be the first dead if we disobeyed or the first set free if we did what they said. My brain frantically  thought of ways to save my son.

The walls of the room were gone and I was swimming with Desmond on my back. Waves kept crashing over us. I picked him up and raised him as high above the water as I could so he could try to breathe.  I was helpless as my son kept gasping for air. 

"Honey, wake up. Sam! Wake up. I need your help, Desmond has a fever." - Says, my husband.

He has never been sick before. Feeling his whole body on fire and watching him cry in discomfort made my heart sink. He is just a little sick right? But I couldn't help but think back to all the dreams I just had and began to worry. That's when I heard very clearly...
"I have a will for this child. I am protecting him."

Since then I had absolutely no fear.

I brought him to the doctor's office on Tuesday where he was diagnosed with croup. It is a very common virus that inflames the respiratory system. I knew he would be fine, but I hated watching him be miserable. The hardest part was while at the doctor's office he needed to receive a breathing treatment. I had to pin him down while a tube was placed near his mouth so he could breath in the treatment. He threw the biggest fit I have ever seen. He screamed and squirmed. He kicked the nurse and the tube. He was so angry! I wish I could explain to him it was helping him. I wish I could tell him it sucks right now, but he will be fine. Instead I just pinned him down with almost all of my strength and sang to him so he knew I was there.

During this time I saw the world through God's eyes a little more clearly.

I am not so different from Desmond. I throw fits about my current circumstances and I don't understand why I have to go through them. I blame God or even tend to blame those around me. I want answers and I want them now. I think to myself... "I can't believe God is allowing this!" While the whole time God is saying. "You don't understand this now, but it will help you." Jeremiah 29:11 popped in my head, "For I know the plans I have for you, plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future." This is how I feel for Desmond even though he doesn't understand that now.

 Life may seem miserable in the moment but God promises...
 "What we suffer now is nothing compared to the glory he will reveal to us later."  - Romans 8:18

We are God's kids. We don't get it. We will never fully understand our Father's ways. If we want to find peace than we must trust. There is no promise there won't be suffering, but God does promise he will be right there with us during the pain.  

"We know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him,who have been called according to his purpose." - Romans 8:28
 




Comments

  1. AnonymousOctober 12, 2012 at 6:43 AM

    Oh the joys of parenting! And before you may have wondered how I became such a worry-wart, ha! You are learning it all, all the joys; all the worries. As a parent, you definitely learn to lean on God even more, especially things not within your control. You will be seeing and talking to Him often in the years to come, that's for sure. You are also able to see God's role as our parent more clearly by being one yourself. It is definitely one of the hardest jobs, but also the most rewarding. Am feeling so sorry my grandson is sick, but am also overjoyed that you and Andrew get to experience parenting. It is truly a wonderful treat to see your kids grow up to be awesome, loving parents themselves. - Love you! Mom

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