My Lent Fail

For years I didn't give anything up for lent because I wasn't familiar with it. I honestly didn't know what the season of Lent was until I was in the cafeteria drink line and a friend of mine asked what I was giving up for Lent. I just stared at her dumbfounded, so then she tried to help me out.

"You should give up pop." She told me. "That's what I am doing."

"Why? Are you on a diet?" I asked.

"No! It's for Lent! Your suppose to give something up."

"Sounds like a diet if you ask me."

"No!..It's the season of Lent. It's a religious thing to help you grow in your faith by fasting from something for 40 days - you know - like Jesus did." She explained.

"I just don't see how giving up pop will help anyone grow closer to Jesus."

"Well, it's much harder than you think. It takes serious discipline. You should try it!"

"I don't drink pop."

"Oh. Never mind."

This conversation led me on a quest to discover what on earth this Lent stuff was all about. After college when I got hired by a Methodist church, I realized Catholics were not the only ones who

participated in the season of Lent. Many Methodists like to participate in Lent and are constantly valuing the "Church Calendar". I heard this phrase tossed around for years before I realized they were not talking about our local church event calendar. Basically, the Church Calendar is the idea of worshiping by focusing on a particular season: Advent (season leading up to Christmas), Lent (season leading up to Easter), or Pentecost (celebration of the birth of the Church). Church services, sermons, and worship are set up in a way to follow the "Church Calendar".

I have always been frustrated by setting up an exact way to worship. We have added rules about what someone can pray, preach, teach, or sing during certain seasons. Along with the Church Calendar, comes a list of what to do and what not to do. This is one of many reasons I have not participated in the season of Lent. I don't like to be confined to a season. Each day is different, and God calls me to worship Him in a variety of ways.

However, this year I felt called to participate. Since giving up pop would mean nothing to me I decided to aim high. After praying, I realized how critical I was of the Church and of others in general. So I gave up criticism.

This turned out to be impossible! I was educated to think critically. As a communications major, I critiqued others communication styles, programs, events, writings, etc. I don't think it's possible to turn that part of my brain off.

Yesterday was Easter. My husband asked me, "How did you do with your Lent goal?"

"CRASH, BURNED, and EPICALLY FAILED!"
 
I honestly gave up the last few weeks and eventually forgot.
Even though I failed over a dozen times a day, I am glad I participated in Lent this year. During the few times when I was REALLY trying, God opened up my eyes. I noticed when I was around the people I criticized most, I actually started to learn something when I managed to set aside my criticism. When I forced myself to stop thinking negatively, I would be inspired by something they said or did. It was humbling and freeing at the same time. When I stopped thinking of how to do things better, I actually enjoyed myself and felt free for the first time.

I even learned during Lent that not all criticism was bad, but there needs to be grace and gentleness at how one chooses to criticize. Healthy criticism should always help share truth or perspective that will build someone up.

I also concluded, even though I am critical of the church calendar - and it's still not that important to my faith - it really does help some people grow. I learned that it's important to worship God communally even if I personally am not feeling like it. I experienced how there is value in focusing on a season even if in my soul I want to yell Hallelujah during the somber Lenten season. Even though I personally don't like to follow a bunch traditions or prescribed way of worship, but for others this can bring serenity to their souls.

 Even though I miserably failed my lent goal, it was in the failing where my eyes were opened and my faith grew.