Why We Wait to Find Out the Gender of Our Baby

I will never forget the moment when my son was born when I finally knew he was a he! The surgeon told my husband to look over the blue curtain hanging to hide my c-section in order to call out the gender.

"It's a boy!" Andrew said with a huge smile on his face.

All the joy we had in that moment had nothing to do with the fact that we were having a boy. We were just thrilled to finally meet our beloved child! Our heart was not set on any specific gender.

Now that we are expecting our second child, once again nothing has changed. We honestly have absolutely no gender preference. We are just thrilled to have another child join our family.

I haven't done my research, but it seems to me most people prefer to find out the sex of their baby at their second ultrasound appointment. It's even trendy these days to have a gender reveal party. I see absolutely nothing wrong with that and encourage celebrations. So please don't think I am trying to convince anyone that one way to find out the gender is better than another. I am simply trying to answer the question I receive from so many people,"Why do you want to wait to find out the gender?"

Here are some reasons my husband and I prefer to wait...

1. We love surprises. There are very few surprises left in this technologically fast paced world. This is one we would like to keep.

2. We are OK with waiting. I think it's a healthy practice to endure the process of waiting. Especially in such an instant gratification society that we live in.

3. My husband and I are not the type of people who have to have everything planned out. We are the type of couple who enjoy getting lost just to see where a random road will take us. There is adventure in not knowing and we dig that!

4. Not finding out the gender allowed us to get nearly everything we needed on the baby registry instead of a bunch of clothes. Plus, after my son was born people were excited to buy him clothes once they finally knew.

5. I somewhat enjoy annoying others around me. I can't tell you how many people were actually angry that we would not find out the gender of our child. I would remind them it was our decision to make not there's. I decided I was doing these "have to know now people" a favor by making them wait. You're welcome.

6. We actually prefer gender neutral colors.

7. Gender absolutely doesn't matter to us. Seriously. We are not the type to care about having a boy to carry on the family name or to need a girl so that we can have a little princess. Now that our second child is on it's way we still could absolutely care less what the gender is. This is because gender is not a guarantee of certain qualities or characteristics to make up personality. My husband and I don't feel like we fit into our own gender stereotypes so why should we anticipate that with our children?

8. We hope to avoid gender stereotype comments even though that has already been a fail. It's apparent that people have very set ideas of what we as parents will have to go through if we have  boy or girl. I full heartedly believe male or female will not define the core of who this child is or what their personality will be like. I know there are certain character traits that tend to be more common in males than females and vice versa. I am not denying that there is some truth to it. But I am saying let's be a little more careful about jumping to conclusions of what defines gender based on behavior.

Here are a few gender stereotype comments to avoid in my presence...

 Please stop saying, "What if you have another boy?" with terror in your eyes and a panicked tone.
My response will be,"Well, I have a little boy who I love and adore so I would love to double that joy."

And stop saying, "I hope you have a girl for your own sanity" because I assure you if we have a girl and if she is more like me than Andrew... than we will have our hands full.

Please don't say, "If you have another boy you don't have to deal with drama." My response will be, "Seriously? I have met plenty of dramatic and overly sensitive guys in my life so I doubt having another boy will avoid drama."

Definitely don't say, "If you have a boy you will be two for two!" This phrase to me is a baseball term implying that if we had a girl in fact this would be a strike out or an out. The birth of a girl would be just as big of a win or a hit.

Please stop saying, "If you have a girl you won't be prepared or have what you need." Whether our baby has a penis or not, we will be able to use the exact same baby stuff we already have.

So will you join us in not overly focusing on the gender of our unborn? Instead let's focus on celebrating that this child is a beloved child of God!