Why We Need to Stop Saying..."He's All Boy!"
Growing up I had always been what society has labeled a "tomboy." I was more comfortable trying to be more like a boy than a girl. I was pretty athletic and loved wearing basketball shorts. I could not stand the color pink and always preferred to be outdoors rather than shopping. I didn't get my first manicure or pedicure until my wedding day. To this day I still don't know how to braid my own hair or use a curling iron. The funny thing is, I received a lot of positive attention for this behavior. Perhaps it is the reason I strived to be this way. I received a great deal of praise from so many people because they thought it was cool that I wasn't super girly.
However I wonder... what if I were born a boy who had more feminine traits? What if I didn't like sports and preferred shopping? What if I preferred to hang out with girls because guy culture seemed too crude?What if I liked doing my nails and my favorite color was pink? What if I hated guns and was into fashion? What if my favorite movies were not action films but romance? What if??? If I were born a boy and pursued these more feminine qualities I would not be celebrated. I would not receive positive attention but instead would probably be severely bullied.
When my son was born I could not wait to get to know him to discover his personality. Now that he is two and half, my favorite part of parenting has been learning who my son is. However, for the past two and half years, I have heard from nearly everyone I know..."He's all boy!". I think it's suppose to be a compliment but I absolutely hate that phrase. Nearly every time my son burps, farts, throws something, runs wildly, plays in the dirt, eats the dirt, jumps from the furniture, swings a bat, picks his nose, yells loudly, or even pushes another kid... the phrase I hear is, "He's all boy!". REALLY? Is that really what makes my son all boy? For a while my son had a phase where pink was his favorite color. Did that make him only half boy? Or how about when he pretends to have a tea party? Is he only a quarter boy then? Or how about when he pushes a baby stroller with a baby doll in it and acts nurturing toward the baby? What about about when my son pretends to cook or pick flowers? Is he a partial boy then? What if he grows up hating beer, sports, guns, and isn't afraid to cry in front of others? Will my "All boy" be a "Real Man?"
Yes, my son is ALL BOY. Why? Not because of his personality or what society says is appropriate for each gender. What makes my son all 100% boy is this fact... His chromosomes are XY. That's it. That's the only requirement.
Therefore, let this blog be a warning... the next time anyone says "He's all boy!" I am going to reply, "Yes, he has a penis."
Please watch this video to realize the impact of our words about gender on our youth.
However I wonder... what if I were born a boy who had more feminine traits? What if I didn't like sports and preferred shopping? What if I preferred to hang out with girls because guy culture seemed too crude?What if I liked doing my nails and my favorite color was pink? What if I hated guns and was into fashion? What if my favorite movies were not action films but romance? What if??? If I were born a boy and pursued these more feminine qualities I would not be celebrated. I would not receive positive attention but instead would probably be severely bullied.
When my son was born I could not wait to get to know him to discover his personality. Now that he is two and half, my favorite part of parenting has been learning who my son is. However, for the past two and half years, I have heard from nearly everyone I know..."He's all boy!". I think it's suppose to be a compliment but I absolutely hate that phrase. Nearly every time my son burps, farts, throws something, runs wildly, plays in the dirt, eats the dirt, jumps from the furniture, swings a bat, picks his nose, yells loudly, or even pushes another kid... the phrase I hear is, "He's all boy!". REALLY? Is that really what makes my son all boy? For a while my son had a phase where pink was his favorite color. Did that make him only half boy? Or how about when he pretends to have a tea party? Is he only a quarter boy then? Or how about when he pushes a baby stroller with a baby doll in it and acts nurturing toward the baby? What about about when my son pretends to cook or pick flowers? Is he a partial boy then? What if he grows up hating beer, sports, guns, and isn't afraid to cry in front of others? Will my "All boy" be a "Real Man?"Yes, my son is ALL BOY. Why? Not because of his personality or what society says is appropriate for each gender. What makes my son all 100% boy is this fact... His chromosomes are XY. That's it. That's the only requirement.
Therefore, let this blog be a warning... the next time anyone says "He's all boy!" I am going to reply, "Yes, he has a penis."
Please watch this video to realize the impact of our words about gender on our youth.
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