Why I Pretended To Like Football

When I worked as a Youth Director in Tennessee I was once asked to compete with a few other townsfolk to do the football picks for the local news paper. I jumped at the chance even though I knew very little about football. The only reason I agreed to do it was because I thought it would make me look athletic and cool. Knowing my face would be in the paper each week meant town celebrity status right? Hardly! I knew I was in over my head when elderly gentlemen would approach me to comment on my picks. They would often tease me if they disagreed or high five if they thought I rooted for their team. Sometimes they would question why I chose a certain team and my answer would always be, "I am just very confident in their offense this year!" Would you believe I actually won one year? I even got a giftcard as the prize. I still feel a little guilty about this!

The truth is, I don't even like football. I LOVE to play football and I really don't enjoy watching it. I have very little knowledge of teams, players, rules, etc. Every week, when I had to pick the teams I just asked my husband what he thought, or I googled the teams and used the opinions of sports experts. The only reason I said yes to the Football Picks was because I thought it would get people to like me more.

It wasn't until recently I decided to start being honest with others about how I didn't care about football. Instead of making stuff up just to be part of the conversation, I now simply tell the truth and we get to talk about something else. The worst thing that has ever happened from me admitting I don't like football is that some people just stopped talking to me about it. So that is really a win for me!

 Why on earth did I pretend to like it? I think it's about maintaining an image of being "an athletic and cool."  I obviously care way too much of what others think of me. But most of all I think it has to do with my deepest desire which is connection and intimacy with others. How does pretending to like football create intimacy? Intimacy is all about connection and closeness. Football is a safe way people try to connect. We feel comradery with others even though we might be completely different from them. If we can root for something together (even if it's a dude running a ball over a while line) than we are bonded. I think for me, pretending to like football brings some insecurities to the surface. It shows I tend to believe the lie that others won't like me if I don't agree with them. I suppose some people won't or they will think less of me. But are those the people I really want to let their opinions direct my life? Surely not.

Pretending to like football in order to create some kind of false connection actually did the opposite. It may have seemed like a real connection but it certainly wasn't authentic. I believe true intimacy can only happen when we are completely honest and vulnerable. Every since I have been more honest about my feelings of football I haven't exactly had more friends, but I have made more meaningful relationships with those who feel the same. I have also learned most people don't really care that I don't care. They continue to support the game that they love and many still love me the exact same.

So that's why I pretended to like football. And now you know that I don't. If you try to talk football with me and I try to talk football back, you have my permission to remind me to just stop it. Remind me to stop trying to earn your admiration and love. 

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