What I Learned from 40 Days of Vulnerability
I just made an intentional effort to be more vulnerable in my life and to live that vulnerability out loud for 40 days. It was so incredibly hard at first! However, it got much easier about half way through. I think that's because the initial leap forward into vulnerability is always the hardest. There are so many unknowns, and I tend to fill my head with the made up thoughts and voices of what everyone else is thinking of me. The more I practiced vulnerability, the more my fear of what others were thinking started to have no power.
The reason I chose to practice vulnerability for 40 days during Lent was to learn to let go of the fears of what others think of me. I also wanted to make deeper connections with those around me. Most of all, I did it because I believe the love of Jesus Christ shines best when we allow ourselves to be broken and honest. The season of Lent is a time to reflect on our messed up lives to show how much we truly need God. It's a beautiful messy process that I love and hate. Thank God, Easter is here and we get to start over with a clean slate! Thank God Easter has come, Christ is risen! Therefore, we have hope in being renewed!
Here is what I learned...
1. Vulnerability is hardest on your family and those closest to you. The first blog I posted about how I was simply going to START a vulnerability project for Lent heavily concerned some of those closest to me (NOT including my husband). I think this is because they love me so much they don't want to see me get hurt. It's also because they were afraid of my vulnerability somehow being a reflection on them. I can totally understand these fears and this was my greatest struggle during the whole process. As much as I was trying to care less about what people think, I will always care about what family thinks. Yet, that doesn't mean I won't post something they may not agree with or like. Those posts stirred up heavy hearted conversations that caused hurt, but one cannot grow without hurt.
2. People were more gracious and supportive than I anticipated. Even though my vulnerability was hard for some, I would say the majority were extremely supportive and enthusiastically cheered me on!
3. Vulnerability deeply connects us. Everyone has a deep longing to connect and nobody wants to be alone in their beliefs. I cannot even tell you how many friends and acquaintances contacted me to further discuss a topic I posted about or to inquire more! Many people wrote me private messages basically saying... "ME TOO! Thank you for showing me I am not alone!"
4. God used vulnerability in surprising ways. People said they appreciated my vulnerability challenge but didn't understand why I would put it out there on social media. I believe social media is a daily chance to be a voice in other people's lives. I believe in using it for good and to connect with others. Are there better ways to connect? Absolutely. But being vulnerable on social media allowed so many of my interpersonal relationships to go way deeper instantly! People would just randomly call me or talk to me about my posts and we pretty much just skipped over the small talk right away. This always surprised me!
5. Some people will RUN. Living vulnerably will definitely prune some relationships, but in the long run it's probably for the better. The thought of people not wanting to talk to me or be friends with me because they don't like my beliefs or emotional openness still makes me initially freak out! But then I realize I don't need everyone's approval and I am still learning to be OK with this.
6. People will make so many assumptions.This one I find most annoying but it just comes with the territory of being vulnerable. Sometimes people would jump to conclusions about a statement or assume I was in some horrible state of depression if I expressed I was having a hard time some days. People are sometimes too quick to offer advice and try to fix problems.
7. I feel stronger and more secure than ever before! The more I learned to express myself freely (yet with some boundaries still) the more I truly was able to let go of this fear of what others think of me that grips my mind daily! Offering up a vulnerable truth about myself each day to the world allowed me to say... "This is who I am and this is what think." The more I did this, the more I found myself being honest in other relationships and small moments of my life. I found the world to be a much more gracious place than I built it out to be in my head. I stopped making so many assumptions for others of what they were thinking of me. Vulnerability although initially left me feeling somewhat broken at times, created this sense of empowerment and security like I never imagined it could.
I will definitely be participating in vulnerability in the days ahead... but this time without the hashtag. I encourage everyone to be more vulnerable in their lives. I hope you find it as rewarding and life changing as I did. Thanks for all your encouragement!!!
The reason I chose to practice vulnerability for 40 days during Lent was to learn to let go of the fears of what others think of me. I also wanted to make deeper connections with those around me. Most of all, I did it because I believe the love of Jesus Christ shines best when we allow ourselves to be broken and honest. The season of Lent is a time to reflect on our messed up lives to show how much we truly need God. It's a beautiful messy process that I love and hate. Thank God, Easter is here and we get to start over with a clean slate! Thank God Easter has come, Christ is risen! Therefore, we have hope in being renewed!
Here is what I learned...
1. Vulnerability is hardest on your family and those closest to you. The first blog I posted about how I was simply going to START a vulnerability project for Lent heavily concerned some of those closest to me (NOT including my husband). I think this is because they love me so much they don't want to see me get hurt. It's also because they were afraid of my vulnerability somehow being a reflection on them. I can totally understand these fears and this was my greatest struggle during the whole process. As much as I was trying to care less about what people think, I will always care about what family thinks. Yet, that doesn't mean I won't post something they may not agree with or like. Those posts stirred up heavy hearted conversations that caused hurt, but one cannot grow without hurt.
2. People were more gracious and supportive than I anticipated. Even though my vulnerability was hard for some, I would say the majority were extremely supportive and enthusiastically cheered me on!
3. Vulnerability deeply connects us. Everyone has a deep longing to connect and nobody wants to be alone in their beliefs. I cannot even tell you how many friends and acquaintances contacted me to further discuss a topic I posted about or to inquire more! Many people wrote me private messages basically saying... "ME TOO! Thank you for showing me I am not alone!"
4. God used vulnerability in surprising ways. People said they appreciated my vulnerability challenge but didn't understand why I would put it out there on social media. I believe social media is a daily chance to be a voice in other people's lives. I believe in using it for good and to connect with others. Are there better ways to connect? Absolutely. But being vulnerable on social media allowed so many of my interpersonal relationships to go way deeper instantly! People would just randomly call me or talk to me about my posts and we pretty much just skipped over the small talk right away. This always surprised me!
5. Some people will RUN. Living vulnerably will definitely prune some relationships, but in the long run it's probably for the better. The thought of people not wanting to talk to me or be friends with me because they don't like my beliefs or emotional openness still makes me initially freak out! But then I realize I don't need everyone's approval and I am still learning to be OK with this.
6. People will make so many assumptions.This one I find most annoying but it just comes with the territory of being vulnerable. Sometimes people would jump to conclusions about a statement or assume I was in some horrible state of depression if I expressed I was having a hard time some days. People are sometimes too quick to offer advice and try to fix problems.
7. I feel stronger and more secure than ever before! The more I learned to express myself freely (yet with some boundaries still) the more I truly was able to let go of this fear of what others think of me that grips my mind daily! Offering up a vulnerable truth about myself each day to the world allowed me to say... "This is who I am and this is what think." The more I did this, the more I found myself being honest in other relationships and small moments of my life. I found the world to be a much more gracious place than I built it out to be in my head. I stopped making so many assumptions for others of what they were thinking of me. Vulnerability although initially left me feeling somewhat broken at times, created this sense of empowerment and security like I never imagined it could.
I will definitely be participating in vulnerability in the days ahead... but this time without the hashtag. I encourage everyone to be more vulnerable in their lives. I hope you find it as rewarding and life changing as I did. Thanks for all your encouragement!!!
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