Living Vulnerably
I will never forget the time I thought I completely failed during a job interview. It was more than a job, it was a leadership position on the Barnabas Team at Calvin College. A male and female Barnabas leader were assigned to a dorm to help other residents grow spiritually. Barnabas leaders were responsible for living their lives vulnerably reflecting Christ to others.
I remember walking in for the interview to a room with two other candidates and a table full of college employees in charge of the Barnabas program. This unique style interview was set up in a way where those in charge got to watch us interact with other candidates for the position. I specifically remember one of the instructions was, "Find out from one another what each person's testimony is." I jumped to conclusions in my head that this was the time we were suppose to share our testimony with everyone in the room. I jumped at the chance to show the leaders I had a great story and wasn't afraid to share it. After I was done talking, the other candidates shared their testimonies as well. When we were done, the main interviewer asked...
"What was the instruction that I gave you?
"We were suppose to give our testimonies." Once again, I had to open my mouth first.
"No, I asked you to find out from one another what each person's testimony is." He corrected me.
I turned red in the face and negative thoughts filled my mind. "That was stupid! And now they know I don't listen or follow directions. I totally blew it!"
He then asked, "What did you learn from this interview process?"
I responded humbly this time. "I guess I learned that I am not that great of a listener. And the best part is my name, Samantha, actually means listener and it's something I feel like isn't one of my natural gifts. I guess I still have a lot to learn about that."
I went back to my dorm room and did not expect to get the position. Yet, much to my surprise when the list was sent out I saw my name on the sheet partnered with Andrew Tidball (who is my husband now). This was a glorious day!
The main interviewer happened to be my mentor in the Barnabas program and he once asked me, "Do you know why you got this position? Because you showed vulnerability by admitting your mistakes and most importantly you expressed a desire to grow from it."
This is what the entire program was about.We shared difficult details of our lives with the team and as partners. My husband and I were constantly encouraged to be open, be vulnerable, be real, be imperfect, to live life in a fishbowl and dare to let other people watch! This is what was emphasized throughout our training, and this is what has stuck with me for life. Everything I have learned while on the Barnabas team has drastically influenced my ministry career, my marriage, my parenting, my relationships, my writing, and the way I view God.
I remember during my wedding ceremony my pastor and long time mentor, Aaron Wetzel, expressed the importance of marriage maintaining within the context of community. He said we would be tempted to keep our struggles isolated as individuals and as a couple, but we needed to remain in community for the sake of the health of our marriage. Connecting this with our Barnabas training means having a marriage strong enough that we are willing to be vulnerable with others. It means with the cute date night selfies and perfect looking family photos we also express when it's not so perfect. Now, I am not saying that everyone needs to know every little detail. However, I am talking about willingly expressing frustrations we go through knowing others will be there to encourage us instead of assume the worst.
I have learned God uses vulnerability to give others freedom to know they are not alone.
My last blog (Be Miserably Happy) was one of those times I chose to give a snap shot of our imperfect marriage. I was open but still did not reveal too many details by keeping our troubles general that nearly everyone in a marriage can relate to. Yet, even this little bit of vulnerability has opened up many doors to minister and bless others. I have received so many words of encouragement from people! Most people expressed they have been through similar difficulties and it meant the world to know they were not alone.
I encourage you to be vulnerable with your life and your relationships... I pray you will begin to experience healing as God uses your vulnerability in powerful ways.
I remember walking in for the interview to a room with two other candidates and a table full of college employees in charge of the Barnabas program. This unique style interview was set up in a way where those in charge got to watch us interact with other candidates for the position. I specifically remember one of the instructions was, "Find out from one another what each person's testimony is." I jumped to conclusions in my head that this was the time we were suppose to share our testimony with everyone in the room. I jumped at the chance to show the leaders I had a great story and wasn't afraid to share it. After I was done talking, the other candidates shared their testimonies as well. When we were done, the main interviewer asked...
"What was the instruction that I gave you?
"We were suppose to give our testimonies." Once again, I had to open my mouth first.
"No, I asked you to find out from one another what each person's testimony is." He corrected me.
I turned red in the face and negative thoughts filled my mind. "That was stupid! And now they know I don't listen or follow directions. I totally blew it!"
He then asked, "What did you learn from this interview process?"
I responded humbly this time. "I guess I learned that I am not that great of a listener. And the best part is my name, Samantha, actually means listener and it's something I feel like isn't one of my natural gifts. I guess I still have a lot to learn about that."
I went back to my dorm room and did not expect to get the position. Yet, much to my surprise when the list was sent out I saw my name on the sheet partnered with Andrew Tidball (who is my husband now). This was a glorious day!
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| RVD Barnabas Partners Dressed for Chaos Day |
The main interviewer happened to be my mentor in the Barnabas program and he once asked me, "Do you know why you got this position? Because you showed vulnerability by admitting your mistakes and most importantly you expressed a desire to grow from it."
This is what the entire program was about.We shared difficult details of our lives with the team and as partners. My husband and I were constantly encouraged to be open, be vulnerable, be real, be imperfect, to live life in a fishbowl and dare to let other people watch! This is what was emphasized throughout our training, and this is what has stuck with me for life. Everything I have learned while on the Barnabas team has drastically influenced my ministry career, my marriage, my parenting, my relationships, my writing, and the way I view God.
I remember during my wedding ceremony my pastor and long time mentor, Aaron Wetzel, expressed the importance of marriage maintaining within the context of community. He said we would be tempted to keep our struggles isolated as individuals and as a couple, but we needed to remain in community for the sake of the health of our marriage. Connecting this with our Barnabas training means having a marriage strong enough that we are willing to be vulnerable with others. It means with the cute date night selfies and perfect looking family photos we also express when it's not so perfect. Now, I am not saying that everyone needs to know every little detail. However, I am talking about willingly expressing frustrations we go through knowing others will be there to encourage us instead of assume the worst.
I have learned God uses vulnerability to give others freedom to know they are not alone.
My last blog (Be Miserably Happy) was one of those times I chose to give a snap shot of our imperfect marriage. I was open but still did not reveal too many details by keeping our troubles general that nearly everyone in a marriage can relate to. Yet, even this little bit of vulnerability has opened up many doors to minister and bless others. I have received so many words of encouragement from people! Most people expressed they have been through similar difficulties and it meant the world to know they were not alone.
I encourage you to be vulnerable with your life and your relationships... I pray you will begin to experience healing as God uses your vulnerability in powerful ways.
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