Dear Dad,

Today I am wearing that sweatshirt. You know, the snowboarding one you bought me when I was in high school. I remember pulling it off the rack and longing for the image of what the sweatshirt promised, "Authentic Roxy Snowboard Riding". I was super into snowboarding and the image that came along with it. I didn't think I would ever own the shirt, I was just looking and maybe drooling.

When you asked me if I wanted it I thought it was so you could take a mental note and get it for me for Christmas. So I told you, "Um yeah that would be awesome."

"I'll buy it for you." You said.

I tried to tell you that you didn't have to because I knew we were in an overpriced sporting good's store and I could find one much cheaper some place else. But you insisted! So I thanked you and was excited to have it.

Whenever I wore that sweat shirt I loved it's warmth and the image that came with it. It told the world I was a snowboarder and that made me happy. I remember wearing it up the chairlifts freezing but not wanting to wear my jacket because I thought my sweatshirt made me look much cooler. After a while, the shirt got a bit worn and I didn't always connect it with happy feelings. Sometimes when I wore it, if I was mad at you I would think... "You probably were just trying to buy my love."

But today I am wearing it for a completely different reason. I am not wearing it for the "image factor" even though I think anything with snowboarding certainly still has cool points. Even if you were trying to buy my love, I know now at least you were trying. I am wearing my sweatshirt today knowing that you loved me. Even though both of us did not show or receive love that well to each other, I still wear this shirt with complete assurance that you love me.

When I first pulled this shirt off the rack back in high school, I wish I knew then what I know now. There are so many things I do wish. But since it's your birthday today, I am going to make a wish for you that you will be proud of.  Today, I wish to use your story for good and to help others struggling with addiction. Thanks to your story, and with God's help, I am hoping many lives are saved.
 
Rest in Peace,
Your Daughter


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