Not My Own

Glancing back at wedding photos, I am reminded that eight years ago I felt the same way then as I do now. My heart is still racing, my gut still aches, and my bowels are still out of control. Oh, the sweet romance that ulcerative colitis can add to all special occasions in life! I was undiagnosed during my wedding with no idea why my insides hated me. I was so frustrated and sick. I am pretty sure at some point that summer I should have been hospitalized. There were many unknowns then, but I knew one thing for sure. NOTHING was going to stop me from getting married on July 18. I remember a few weeks before the wedding discussing the idea of going to the hospital. I remember being furious with those who even suggested it. I also remember telling them even if you have to wheel me down the isle in a hospital bed I was going to get married! I made a bit of a comeback and was able to to walk myself down the isle and even dance. Most people had no idea how sick I really was.  I used t

Our family trip to Target for diapers and a wifi modem turned out to be mini revelation for me that I just had to share with y'all! My life was yet again reflected back to me through the perspective of a four year old. Within minutes of arriving, my son already had it in his head he was getting a toy. For the life of me, I don’t know why sometimes he’s 100% fine with not getting a toy and other Target trips he just gets it in his head that is the way it will be. Today was one of those days. It also happened to be one of those days that no matter what logic you try to pour into his head about getting over the disappointment; he was not going to stop bawling his eyes out. So I gave my husband the look and said, “We will be outside.” I grabbed my son’s hand and calmly walked him outside turning every head in Target toward our direction. There we sat on a flowerbed ledge where I let my boy cry his eyes out. Our conversation went a little like this… Me: Sweetheart, I know you are