Dealing with Fear

Dear Christians,

I know you think are you being helpful by telling everyone during a crisis, “Don’t be afraid, God is in control." I know you mean well, and I even catch myself saying this often. Yet, I never find it helpful when someone says it to me, and it almost never seems to help those I say it to. I know I know I know… you are probably thinking "Well it may not be helpful but it’s the truth!" I just think we are too eager to help “fix” others emotions when in reality we are the ones uncomfortable with their emotions. 

So let’s think about the basis of fear and worry. Worry is a reaction from fear.  I tend to think of fear as a raw emotion within itself. Experiencing fear is an absolute necessary part of our survival as human beings. I know the Bible says "Do not fear" over and over again. Perhaps, this is why so many Christians including myself, quickly experience guilt after initially feeling fear. However, I think there is a big difference between experiencing fear and living our lives in fear. Here’s what I mean.

Experiencing fear is natural and an essential part of what it means to be human. Fear keeps us safe. Fear tells us not to do dumb things that will cause us physical or emoitonal harm. So fear can be good and healthy. Being afraid of harmful people or situations is our body’s way of saying, “Something is wrong here and I don’t want to be part of it to keep myself and/or others safe.” When people say they are afraid, it doesn’t necessarily mean they don’t trust God. It means they are human, and they are expressing emotions they are experiencing. Acknowledging our fear is healthy and reasonable.  

When the Bible says, “Do not fear.” here is what I think it means (and I could be completely wrong). I think it means to not live in fear. Living in fear means you let fear become your ruler. You bow down to fear and make your life decisions surrounding your fears. Living in fear means you let worries completely take over your every thought and action. It means you are robbed of daily joys and securities that God wants you to delight in. When God says, “Do not fear” I believe God means it in a way of not letting fear be the ruler of your life.

So when people say they are afraid, let’s not jump to conclusions that they are wrong for not trusting in God. I trust God with all my heart, mind, and soul.  Yet, that doesn’t mean I don’t experience fear especially when humans have freewill to cause harm. However, I will not choose to live my life in fear, because I do trust God to make all things right one day. I hold on to that promise every time the light gets dim. I believe in a God of redemption and beauty. I believe in a God who saves. I believe in a God who makes all things beautiful even after crap hits the fan. However, this doesn’t mean that I am not afraid of going through all the suffering that will happen in the mean time. I can fully believe God is good and in control, and experience fear at the same time. I just don’t let it rule my life.

So here’s my advice. When people say they are scared or afraid let them feel it. Let them experience it. If you must say anything, then remind them they have a God who is with them in the midst of their fear.  Tell them you are by their side and have their back. Pray for them to experience comfort and peace through their fears. Pray they don’t let fear be the ruler of their life. God is sovereign even though we are afraid and don’t understand so many things.  May our fears transition into strength resulting in righteous actions. May we be a listening ear and a place of refuge for those in fear. Amen.

Love to you all,

- Sam

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