Born to Be a Mom?

I saw a Mother's Day card at the store with the title, "Born to be a Mother." I didn't read the rest but my thoughts couldn't help but be alarmed. This presumes that some women's entire purpose for existing is to be a mom. I love being a mom, but it is not the core of who I am. It is not the reason I was born.

I think way too many mom's put their complete identity in being a mom. It's hard not to when you think of your kid constantly, and the moment you take one minute for yourself your child is reminding you why he is the center of the world.

Most woman absolutely love to feel needed and having kids do fulfill this desire. Being a mom makes me feel incredibly important, valued, and loved.  Whenever, I pick my son up from daycare he rushes to greet me which is the biggest high knowing I am one of his favorite people in the world! I absolutely love and cherish the gift of being a mother!

However, it is essential for women to understand their worth in this world is not based on being a mom. You are worthy, you are valued, and you are loved because you ARE God's child. You are loved because you are a human being!

If women are looking for happiness and fulfillment in their life by having life, than they will be disappointed. Having children is a joy! Yet, I cannot always rely on my son to make me happy. Motherhood is a beautiful role, but it cannot be at the core of my identity. If being mom is all that I am, than what happens when my son doesn't need me any more? Emptiness. I am lost.

As a youth minister, I have had the privileged of seeing several parent/ teenage relationships. Every year my heart goes out to parents of senior students transitioning into adulthood. The mother's usually are the ones more open with their struggles of their kids growing up. Normally, these mom's fall into two categories...
 


Category #1: Mom's are completely devastated, freak out, fight with others around them, try to control everything, cry hysterically, struggle with depression, start drinking, drink more often, have mid-life crisis,or try to act strong but can't hide this long lost look in their eyes.

Category #2: Mom's are genuinely very sad because they miss their kids, yet they have joy seeing their kids bloom. These mom's move on with their lives pursuing other interests, hobbies, adventures, etc. I have noticed that mom's in this category usually have a close relationship with their spouse.

 The mom's in the first category are not only losing their children to adulthood, but they are losing who they are because for the past 18 years (or more if multiple kids involved) they have believed their purpose in life was to be a good mom. They sought value from being needed.The mom's in the second category are sad but don't dwell in the past. These are the mom's who embrace new adventures ahead for themselves and their kids. These are the mom's who trust God, and who know their true identity is knowing they are loved, valued, and worthy because they are God's child. These mom's put God before their children.

My goal is to be the kind of mom in category #2. I am guessing it's going to be much harder than it looks. 

Comments

  1. WELL SAID SAM. EXCELLENT INSIGHT FOR SUCH A YOUNG MOM. YOU'RE SON IS A LUCKY BOY! gramE

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